I'm going to have to write another long "catch-up" post, because I have been absent from this blog for far too long. In the meantime, here's a much shorter post. I've been thinking a lot lately about the different "pictures" of myself that I look at. What I see reflected in a mirror is often very different from what I see in a photograph. And even with mirrors, the me I see in one bathroom mirror looks different from the me in another bathroom mirror.
Then I began thinking about the comments people post in response to articles online, and the way they conduct themselves in public - in cars on highways, in any kind of stressful situation. Some are angry, some are rude, while others are polite and even-tempered. Do these people see themselves reflected in their words and actions? If so, do they see themselves as they would in a photograph or in a mirror? Do they know how hurtful or pleasurable their words are, and do they care?
I prefer photographs. If I had been looking in myself regularly in photos, and letting Bruce photograph me more often, I don't think I'd have let myself put on quite so much weight. The me I see in photos is far more overweight than the me I see in mirrors, and because of that, it's horrifying to see how slim I was ten and even five years ago compared to my weight now. I understand now why people stick photos of themselves on mirrors and the 'fridge when they want to lose weight, and that's why I'm going to be staring hard at photos of myself from now on, while I work on losing weight and getting my muscles back in shape. The mirror doesn't provide an honest reflection.
I think people are both photographs and mirrors. Those who tell us, directly or otherwise, what they really think about us (both the good and the bad) are photographs that show us as we are, not as we may think we are. But in turn, they are mirrors when it comes to seeing their own characters. That's why some people are arrogant, thinking they are much better than they actually are, while others are much harder on themselves than they need to be. Neither is looking at an accurate portrayal.
